Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
