So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
