I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
