I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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