Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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