why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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