i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's always time for handjobs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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