I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
