When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize