my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
