I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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