I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
