I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
