Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
