is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
