his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
