you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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