He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
