Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
