Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
