Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He better not be in your backpack
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
