it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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