She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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