If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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