found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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