i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
