Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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