Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
