I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
