Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
