Moan for me like Helen Keller
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
