her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am available for nakedness
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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