It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
