Its about making memories worth repressing
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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