But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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