Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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