Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
