...so i touched it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
