i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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