how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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