New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You're like the curious george of whores
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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