and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
