I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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