He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
