Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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