I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
