We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
