is your mom at the bar?
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
