She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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