Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
