can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
