awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
