why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
