Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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