We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
