yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
