You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize