neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
