I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
