i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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