Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize