How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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