I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
